so, it seems that now i am but another friend short, luckily, me and lisa talked, and we worked things out, hopefuly well stay cool, now, it seems that charissa thinks im just a "simple minded asshole" which really pisses me off cuz shes so two-faced its unreal, dont say shit about me behind my back then act like everythings cool, cuz its not....new subject...i canNOT believe jessicas doing what shes doing, i mean, seriously, one of the best qualities jess had was that she wasnt like all the other sluts out there, she actually shared the same viewpoint as me, that sex should be something between people who actually care and lvoe each other, not just a quick fuck cuz that persons hot. but now shes done it, and no matter what excuse like "ive never done it with a girl" or whatever, it doesnt matter, the fact is, its slutty, and ill never look at her the same again, im still unfortunately going to try hard to still be her friend, i cant live without her in my life, even if that means shell walk all over me, use me, treat me like shit, i dont care what she does, i cant let her leave my life, shes a part of me and no matter what she does i still need her in my life, unfortunately im going to look at her soooo badly from now on, but ill still try to be happpy just knowing that shes there in my life. im going to try my hardest to stay away from jess for a while, but at the same time stay close, i dont know, i have no clue what to do, i dont want to be her friend when shell choose a slutty curiosity lesbian fuck over a good friend...thats not something friendship should have to be about.so i dont want to be her friend....but i NEEED her in my life so badly....i cant take this anymore, i cant take this spot in my mind that im stuck at. its way too much for me to handle. but all i know is this jessica, if i decide that i can make it without you in my life, i hope you think it was worth it, losing a close friend for a curiosity fuck, i just hope it was worth it. and then when im gone.....
I hope you realize you ruined it,
I hope when you sleep you dream about ME
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about ME
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without ME
I hope you realize that you CANT LIVE WITHOUT ME!!!
...i hate thinkin things like that, i just dont know anymore, youll probably think im an asshole after reading this, but i dont care. I have a feeling ill be the one crawlng back, and when i do just please have the decency to brush me off and tell me its all going to be okay, even though its not....
I HATE that i cant stop loving you...
someone leave a comment, please, anything really, words of encouragement, criticism, i dont care, just share something please.
have a nice day everyone.